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Tears

Oh the things I remember!!

We are kids. Pa is angry and shouting at us. At some point it turns into tears and silence and each one of us standing in a corner.

She'd always bawl loudly. I'd silently sniffle and sometimes scrape my skin till it gets raw. He'd not react.

And so it was when mom died.

The call. The cries. My stunned lack of tears. And then it came. Filling every possible moment for a couple of days.

And now am afraid to be alone. And yet, I will pack my bags and leave like an adult, though I feel like a child inside. Comforting myself that they all seem to be doing fine.

I trust in you, O Lord. Keep me in your shadow.

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