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The silence

Feb 3
The first day after. I had woken up at 1:30 or so and not really slept after that. Appa had gotten up in the night and the at 6. I lay there crying and listening to him go about his morning.

And what I heard the most were the missing bits. No conversations. No TV. No bell ringing. No calling.

The first day I've had to get out of bed without hearing Ma call for Christine.
The first day I didn't have to say I'll make coffee and wake her up.
The first day of quiet. Silence. And emptiness.

I can almost hear her call over the years. The strong voice slowly turning feeble over the years.

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